Green River Star -

By Stephanie Thompson
People Editor 

Nylons: my enemy


March 29, 2017

Every time I purchase a pair of nylons I should just chuck them in the trash as soon as I get home.

That’s just where they will end up anyways.

Or better yet, I should just not buy them.

Yet, I always get tricked by the clever advertising on the nylon packages that claim they are slimming, durable and comfortable. If their idea of comfortable is feeling like the circulation in your lower body is being cut off at the waist, then I guess their ads are right.

I mean, I will actually get a stomach ache if I try to wear them all day. Some of you might be thinking, “Well, you’re just buying the wrong size.” Let me assure you I haven’t bought the wrong size. I have even tried to buy a size bigger thinking they would be more comfortable only to have them look like I have skin falling off of my legs because they were too big.

Plus, the top of them was still way to snug.

Also, I have discovered that the phrase “control top” is code for “you literally will not be able to breathe or move in these.”

Now, I can simply blame this on my weight, I am 10 pounds heavier than I probably should be, but like I said I always follow the weight and height guide and I am still disappointed with the fit.

As for actually putting on a brand, new pair of nylons. To me, it is one of the most uncomfortable things do to. I struggle to try and get them on without snagging them before I get them all the way on. I feel like a toddler trying to put a sock on for the first time.

When I finally get them on. I realize another problem.

They created a belly bulge look. Not flattering at all. Now, I’m no stick figure, but I don’t have a huge belly roll and nylons seem to make it look like I have one.

For me, that’s the only downside to spring and fall weather because it’s still too cold to go without nylons, but too warm to wear my fleece tights, which, by the way, are pretty comfortable.

So as spring approaches, I have to decide if I want to freeze or breathe. I don’t really like either option so I guess I could just wear pants until summer is here.


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