I was watching an episode of “The Middle” the other day that really started to get me thinking.
This is a show I just watch and laugh along with. For those unfamiliar with this show, it is about a suburban family with three kids. They have a dishwasher and roof that is always leaking and they are constantly eating fast food in front of the television. Every week, there is always some sort of drama going on with this family.
On this particular episode, the mom was listening to a some talk show about how mothers are supposed to bring their best for their family. After this show, she started evaluating her life and realized she was not bringing her best at home, she was only bringing her best at work.
Throughout the episode, she keeps seeing other moms supposedly bringing their best and she felt inadequate.
So one day, she decides to bring her best. She remains in her work clothes and cooks a meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy and some veggies for dinner. She even cleared off the table of school projects so the family could eat at the table instead of in front of the television.
She is proud of all of her work, but there is just one problem-- the family doesn’t even notice. Even the husband is craning his neck to see what’s on the TV.
Two of the children asked to be excused before they even eat much. Then, the oldest son eats really fast so he can watch TV and finally the husband also makes his way to the living room to watch television.
The mother is mad. She goes into the living room and starts yelling about how she brought her best and no one even noticed. She said she was still wearing her work pants even though they were chaffing her, but she was bringing her best.
I could totally identify with this mother. I too have felt like I have not been bringing it all for my family. As soon as I get home from work, I get out of my dress clothes and switch into sweat pants or lounge-type shorts so I can be ready to play with my children. I usually put my air up in a pony tail and put my glasses on.
I call it my lounging look.
Sometimes I felt the same way the mother did in this show that if I wasn’t dressed nice all the time or preparing a home-cooked meal every night that I am not bringing my best to my family. I know these thoughts are nuts, but everyone has them.
I often did things that I now think are ridiculous.
For example, my kids don’t care if I am wearing contacts or glasses. All they care about is if I can see all the cool things they are doing. Also, does it matter if I am in work clothes or lounge clothes? In fact, I think if I stayed in my work clothes I would not do half of the fun things I do with my children because I wouldn’t want to get them dirty. However, if I have my lounge clothes on who cares if I get another stain on them? I don’t. It’s not like anyone besides my family, the neighbors and maybe some lucky people at the Home Depot will ever see them.
At the end of the show, the mother realizes it is not important for her bring her best all the time, but to be there for her kids when they need her.
I feel this same way. Are my kids really going to remember what I wore 15 years ago? I think my kids would be more likely to remember how we made a volcano out of play dough, when we baked cookies, when we planted a vegetable garden or how we spent some hot, summer afternoons “playing pool,” which means me sitting on a lounge chair trying to read a book, while my kids run in and out of a small pool. They occasionally shoot me with water guns and I will shoot them back with my tiny water gun because that is all they left me.
These are some of the fun things I would like my kids to remember and what I will continue to focus on. And that is how this mom brings her best.
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