Hollywood is running out of ideas

One would think in a place like Hollywood, there would be a ton of aspiring screenwriters who have a numerous brilliant ideas that will blow away movie goers.

This certainly doesn’t seem to be the case.

Last week, I was reading an article that said Chris Pratt was the leading contender for a “reboot” of the Indiana Jones movie franchise.

While I have nothing against Pratt and loved him since his early comedy days and role on Parks and Recreation, does the world really need another Indiana Jones movie?

It’s seem to be the par for the course these days in Hollywood. Granted their are some great and original ideas that come along like last year’s “Boyhood”, “Birdman”, “Nightcrawler”, and “Grand Budapest Hotel”, but it seems that the same ideas are being done over and over.

Take Indiana Jones for example. The first three movies were great. When they decided to do the fourth one a few years ago it was a disaster. Harrison Ford was clearly only in it for the money because watching that trash was about as fun running buck naked at full speed into a six-foot cactus.

Don’t get me wrong, I really love a fun “popcorn action” movie, For every original and brilliant movie, there seems to be about 10 unoriginal movies that come out that kind of deflate my excitement about the movies.

Every time I want to go to the theater, there is not much to excite me. I just got online and looked at the movies currently playing and it was sad. They were either based on t.v. shows or looked downright awful. Other than “American Sniper” they all looked like candidates to walk out of.

It’s gotten to the point that one or two movies based on a famous toys from the 80’s is not enough. I guess people really want to spend all of their hard earned money watching cars turn into robots over and over again. It kinda got old after the first one.

I’m a huge fan of the original Star Wars and have to admit I was excited when they said they were going to make three new ones and the old cast with the likes of Ford and Mark Hammil will return.

I than was quickly disappointed when I heard they were going to do a number of Star Wars “stand alone” films. I even heard they may do a standalone film about Chewbacca. I’m really excited to go see Han Salo, but all these stand alone movies are just going to ruin the franchise that is still trying to recover from Jar Jar Binks.

If they are going to do a Chewbacca movie, they might as well just kill Star Wars with a movie about Jar Jar Binks moving to the country to learn about farming and more importantly, himself.

A few super hero movies used to be great, but they are start to make movies about ones that probably should stay in the realm of comic books. I can’t imagine people will be excited for an “Antman” movie? But obviously I am in the minority and these are the types of movies that are going to keep coming and coming.

Speaking of superheroes, eight batman movies and six superman films wasn’t enough, someone thought it would be a good idea and make a movie that pits the two against each other. The theater will be full, but there has to be something better.

Just off the top off my head, I could come about with a ton of original ideas and I’m probably sure there are fresh Harvard english major graduates far smarter than me moving to Los Angeles everyday. This quick little movie idea came to my head a few seconds ago and has to be better than movies based on Disneyland rides, or the 225th Fast and Furious movie.

How about a movie about a man for as long as he can remember eats Philadelphia Cream Cheese on his bagel each morning. His life is great. He has a wonderful wife, three great kids, a high-paying job, a great house and a solid group of friends.

One day he wakes up and goes to toast his bagel and reaches for the cream cheese. There is none. He panics, but decides to just put jelly on it and proceed with him day. From this point on everything changes. He arrives at work and loses his job. He gets a video message of his wifing cheating on him as he sits at a red light. When the light turns green, his car won’t move. When he finally walks home he gets a call from the school that one of his children has been kidnapped by the Amish mafia. Moments later his 14-year-old arrives home and tells him she is pregnant. At this point the man knows he needs to find some of his beloved cream cheese to right the wrongs. As he goes to venture to the store, he walks out side to see the sun is no longer there and it is -256 below and is pretty much the apocalypse outside. It’s now the adventure of a lifetime. Sure that was stupid, but a whole lot more original than the crap we see anymore.

I really wish there were more Quentin Tarrantinos and less Michael Bays. Perhaps I should get to writing.

 

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