Donald Trump on the range

(Editor note: This column is fiction, but reflects the writer’s views of where the country is headed)

Maneuvering the artillery took months longer than anyone had imagined. The impatient commander-in-chief yelled and screamed and twisted and contorted his face more than was usual even for him. He shouted “You’re fired!” more times than anyone could count.

On the periphery of the farms the barrage opened up. The formerly majestic windmills came crashing to the ground. They got twisted and crumpled and lay in the corn.

Meanwhile the smashing crews had been going around with crowbars and shatteri...